Dear Sophie,
I thought for sure you would take to elementary school like a champ. You seem so grown up and four year old kindergarten is all you talked about for months before classes started. We picked out a backpack and talked about navigating the cafeteria. We visited your classroom and got you all ready to meet new friends. As eager as you were, school has not been without it’s challenges.
I worry a lot that we did the right thing, sending you a year early. If we had kept you at home one more year, would you be more ready? Would you have settled down a little and be easier to engage? Or would we be facing these same tears, but during a more critical year of instruction?
Last week you came home and told me, “Did you know they don’t even let you watch TV during naptime?!” as if it were a national tragedy. You are struggling a bit with the structure of the day and not being the free-spirited Taz you are used to. You can’t decide whether to eat breakfast at home or carry it in a sack or choose circle cereal from the line. Your opinion on the matter changes daily and with each new opinion, you’re mad that I would even suggest otherwise. My girl who used to sleep seven hours a night with no nap, is sleeping through snack time and doesn’t want to get out of bed in the mornings. I get reports of teary eyes because Gran didn’t speak to you in the hall or because you just wanted to give your blanket, Pink, one more squeeze before getting out of the car. She bought you a new blanket to leave with your nap mat and you don’t like it as well as Pink, but it’s soft and snuggly and you named it Blue. She put extra baggies of circle cereal in her room, just in case you panic at breakfast again.
And just when I start to second guess myself, you come home with a smile on your face. You pile into my bed for a pizza picnic and tell me that you love school and that you “didn’t fall in the potty today.” You pull out your beautiful art work and hang it proudly on the bulletin board next to Ella’s. You tell me about the fire drill and the painting center and how Phoenix got moved to a new chair and now she sits right by you! You rounded the corner and your eyes lit up when I surprised you at lunchtime last week and you are so excited to finally remember your carpool number.
Oh, how I’m glad you aren’t quite grown up yet. Ella breezed into elementary school and never looked back. It was easier, sure, but she didn’t leave any ‘little’ behind at all. Thank you for lingering, for growing up slowly and dragging your blanket around the dirty floors. You can wait to be big another day.
